Blue Apple

2008-07-22T17:28:00.002+08:00

I found my flaw - the flaw where I seem tough, but inside I'm weak.

I found my flaw - the flaw where I persistently push through to get what I want, yet neglect the signs that say "it's not meant for you!"

I found my flaw - the flaw where I want what I want so bad that I fail to see that sometimes, that's not the best for me.

I found my flaw - the flaw where I suppress my emotions to the point I'm taken forgranted.

I found my flaw - the flaw where I am always negative to the point I get depressed over things that shouldn't even matter.

I am weak, but He is strong.

I am flawed, but He is perfect.

I am poor, but He is rich.

2008-06-03T10:42:00.003+08:00

There always will be a rainbow at the end of each storm...

I'm glad to have found you...
...but I'm too afraid to love you with my whole heart.

What if I hurt me.......
...but more importantly, what if I hurt you?

I woke up this morning thinking...
..."Hell, life's too short for 'what ifs'"

Can I give you my best shot...
...without having to worry about the consequences?

Will I be able to cross that broken bridge again...
...if I ever come to it?

Like you reminded me...
..."if God brings you to it, He will bring you through it"

You're definitely the best I've ever had so far...

2008-02-05T20:25:00.000+08:00

I refuse to be a bum like ....
I refuse to think about...
I refuse to hope for...

I just wanna be me, living my life, doing the things I like
I just want to be free, from the chains that bound.
I just wanna run and hide from the things that will not suffice
I just wanna be free...

There's no such thing as true love.
There's no such thing as attraction without distraction.
There's no such thing as illusions without disillusions.
There's always conflict...all pain but no gain.

I refuse to believe,
I refuse to see.
I refuse to hear,
I refuse to trust.

I will always be Me!

2007-11-20T00:55:00.000+08:00

I do not need attention nor do I need sympathy. I just want to yell into space. I wish I had enough cash to hire a shrink. What better way than to get an instant best friend - someone who listens and knows exactly what to say.

I'm tired of crying my eye balls out after a long day of work. I'm tired of being pushed aside. I'm tired of being blamed for every mistake made. I'm tired of living. I'm tired of pretending that I'm fine. I'm tired of smiling when inside I'm dying.

Maybe some pills would numb the pain... Maybe physical pain can help numb out some of the emotions... Maybe I could try asphyxiating myself by holding my breath... Maybe the love from my family is the only thing that's keeping my sanity...

Random, I'm pure RANDOM

2007-07-04T01:25:00.000+08:00

I didn't notice I was that RANDOM till my beloved cousin bro pointed it out to me. I didn't even notice that D-Ling's also THAT RANDOM like me... till my cousin pointed it out AGAIN.

Seriously, there are like a million things that run through my mind at a single time and I'm pretty sure the things I think about pop right out of my mouth sooner or later. Nope, it's not a good thing because I confuse the people around me with my constant switching and jumping between topics. Nyahaha. But I like it~~ nyahaha

Well, life's been pretty much on the up side lately. Prolly coz there is less miscommunication between us... and prolly coz I'm spending too much time and money LEPAK-ing. I know, time to get a job. But my holiday's just begun!? I mean, my convocation isn't even anytime soon...so why the rush? Well, I'm kind of waiting for a company to get back to me with a suitable posting, but meanwhile..why hunt? Like I told my dad, "I'm shopping for a job". Better choose something I'm gonna be happy with so I would be a benefit to the company rather than jump into something I do not want..and be a burden to the company.

Ah well, that's life. I get annoyed when I'm deliberately ignored... and I get even more annoyed that these people actually come right up a couple of days later, as if nothing ever happened. Ah well, again, THAT'S LIFE. Annoyance is nothing more than an ant bite I can brush off anytime with some MOPIKO. Lepak- lah!! That's my moto at the moment.

I guess I'm done being random. If I go on, I'll annoy you (yes, you, the reader) even more....

Was planning on playing a game with this someone..but too bad...that person is in the "ignoring" mood right now...so yeah, too bad..you don't know what you're missing! hahahha

I am but a girl

2007-06-25T05:15:00.000+08:00

But I refuse to be defeated.
I stand shoulders broad and fire-y eyed,
Confident and sure that I shall not be defeated.

I do not have the right to question..
nor do I have the right to be unsatisfied.

I see a wall breaking down,
I can do nothing about it.
I give warnings, but am not heeded.
I try to fix it, but am hampered.

My good will is read as ill will,
My concerns blown away by the wind,
My troubles drowned in insults.

Why is my race branded as second?
Where did this stamp come from?
God made Eve from Adam,
BUT JESUS MADE US EQUAL.

The verse always reads "Women submit to your husbands"
But why is "husbands, love your wives" always ignored?
CHRIST MADE MEN AND WOMEN EQUAL.

Jesus loves me..
I love me..
Why should I be defeated just because I am a girl?

Who am I to question you?

2007-06-24T19:04:00.000+08:00

I really wonder if my choice was one of disobedience to God. Am I paying the price for it now? I wonder.

A choice made, an action taken... yet one that I choose to enjoy rather than regret. Why? At least it made me happy... at least I did not ruin someone's relationship... at least someone appreciates and cares to elaborate, even if it's skin deep.

There's a tree, and a man with an axe. The tree believes that he's strong enough to even withstand the hacking of the man with the axe. He believes that he will not fall. Is it wrong for the tree's owner to set up a fence to protect the tree from the man with the axe? Is it wrong for the owner of the tree to know that the tree will eventually fall with persistent hacking?

Who am I to question you? I'm just a girl with limitless dreams and ambition; fearless. But who am I? I am just a girl bounded by the constrains of an asian society - of a society that will always put men above women, no matter how advanced this generation has become. The only way to achieve without limit and be happy is for this girl to loose the chains that bind..... then, I shall be free.

I'm not her.

2007-05-08T01:30:00.000+08:00

I don't care how she's been a bitch to you. All women would bitch at the way you handle them.

Yeah, he doesn't like the "poh mah" nature of women..but blame God if you will, for that is the way He made us.

I don't feel like beating around bushes today...nor am I ever going to delete this post even if it makes his ex (if she ever reads this with the knowledge of my real identity) feel the slightest joy.

The breaking news...I was called by his ex's name in the midst of an argument, 2 years into the relationship. Now, I'm NOT supposed to be mad because I'm supposed to know and understand it's a mistake.... and I should forgive....like the couple of times I've done before.

Everyone would ask "what the fuck is wrong with you" but instead, I'm being called stupid for not understanding. I'm not hurting, it's funny.

The deadliest sin in a relationship is to call your partner by the name of your ex...

From public to private

2007-05-03T19:13:00.000+08:00

I miss the good old days of my other blog - pure ranting and people bashing (indirectly of course) - and no worries of what my readers may think. That's the whole point of a blog anyway, right? Err...yeah, I don't like reading reprints of the local news..nor do I like feasting my eyes on "technology savvy" blogs that make me (an electronics engineer very-soon-to-be) sound effing stupid. I like reading blogs that reveal lives and thoughts. Maybe its because I'm "bat gua"... and do enjoy a little "blogger" bashing with some people..of maybe that's just me..and my style of writing.

Too bad, the blogsphere is totally FARRRR from private. Besides the fact that my parents read my blog and express STRONG disapproval on some of my contents and my occasional 'floral print' language..I discovered the real enemy - stalkers. Perhaps its karma - bash bloggers and be bashed. Haha. Actually, it's not so much of the bashing part.

Blogging gets really annoying when SOME people start emailing you multiple photographs of yourself (obviously ripped off your blog) and claim to have accidentally stumbled upon them. It gets more annoying when distasteful expressions of emotions (positive and negative) are displayed much to your disdaint. So why bother blogging about life and what you truly feel anymore, huh? Might as well save the emotional battery for REAL LIFE friends you can trust.

But like the wise always say, "old habits die hard". That's why I revived my other blog with a whole new 'theme' or whatever you want to call it, displaying only the beautiful parts of my life...and created its alter ego (this blog) to feed the undead - that old habit of expressionism through blogs.

Hey, life's what you make out of it. Blogging is an advertisement of your life (if what you blog about is of your life la of course~~). So now you know why - the drastic reduction of emotional display and details of my life. There will still be hints of it, if you're fast or good enough to catch it...and occassionally, a post will be published to release all that pressure which will most probably be removed very soon after....

Anyhow, this blog is still alive.....but will remain the suppressed alter ego of my high and mighty main blog. Thank you, for reading.

Hurting people hurt others

2007-01-08T17:08:00.000+08:00

You've gotta admit it, IT'S TRUE!

Don't believe? Go check it out!

The gal who sat in front of me.

2007-01-04T12:45:00.000+08:00

Back in high school, I had this classmate who sat in front of me. We were in the same kindergarten, same primary school...and same high school. Everyone was afraid of this strong charactered, loud mouthed girl. Well, so was I.

So when we landed in the same class in secondary 1...naturally everyone moved to support her. You know, the type of support.."you're right, always right..no matter what you do." Unfortunately she didn't have very high tolerance for people of different character. So year after year, as if it were a cycle, every girl in the circle would get picked on and boy-cotted in some way or another. She couldn't tolerate people whom she expected to be 'dumb' to do better than her in exams, and would go to the extend of disliking you just because you used the same pen as she did. Hmm..jokes on her. People eventually did dislike her.......

I woke up this morning thinking of her, and what happened to her. I'm sure she is a changed person by now. Changed how, I do not know, but changed for sure.

The thing is, she did impact my life. She gave me a lesson on how to be strong. There will always be people like her in this world. There will always be someone looking at your faults, picking at them and rubbing it all in to your face. But what matters is my life and how I live it, coz in the end its between God and me...okay, and the people I've been nice too. I don't think God, on judgement day is gonna ask..."How did you try to please the unpleasable character of...so and so..??" and He's definitely not gonna say "WHAT?!?!? She hates you and you didn't make her love you?!" It's definitely gonna be like "She hates you and you didn't love her in return?" (Love your neighbour as you love yourself) That is the 2nd most important commandment since Christ's time. He knows it ain't easy and I try...but in Him, all things are possible!

Failure means a lot less to me when I put my hopes and my trust in Him. Try to be cool, you'll never be cool enough. Try to be rich, never rich enough. Try to be smart, never smart enough. Strife to be the best, never good enough. So..in Him, I am complete. See..the bible never lies!!

"No, I'm perfect!!"

2006-12-30T03:25:00.000+08:00

I kinda think that sometimes in life, we tend to act...and think that we are perfect. I mean, no one likes to be thought of as wrong. If anything goes wrong, it's YOUR fault. If I'm in a bad mood, it's someone..or something's fault. What bout you? What bout me?

No one's perfect, but no one's ever gonna admit that. Yeah, I hear your shouts of protest. C'mon admit it! We're all hypocrites. We say one thing, yet do and think another way. No one is made the same way. I work this way, you work another way. Yet, we all expect everyone to work OUR way. Do you get where I'm aiming at? Maybe not.

IMHO, I seriously think that people who judge others by their actions are kinda shallow. Well, I'm not aiming at anyone here okay. It's like...as the saying goes...."It's my life..and I live it the way I want to live it!" Yeah, selfish. But it doesn't mean not giving your best to the people around you. Unfortunately, not everyone sees the good in you. Sometimes, and most oftenly...it's the faults that cling on to you that blind people from the good in you.

Being mostly Sanguine, I see a lot of me caring about me, my fun and myself. A Choleric/Melancholic may take me as full of shit...and yea...give me hell. But would I be me anymore if I were to change? Shouldn't it be "people learning to accept people" instead of "people changing people"? No wonder there are so many broken relationships around.

If I were to live my life the way the world dictates me to....I would be totally miserable. So there, a big chunk of my mind immortalized in cyber space.

Yuen Fen?

2006-12-13T14:29:00.000+08:00

You know there are these days where you keep bumping into that same person, wherever you go?

It ain't a dread, more of a pleasant surprise. Yuen Fen? *NAH~~*

Christmas...again =D

2006-12-12T21:41:00.000+08:00

So here I am sitting @ Star Bucks for the 1st time in my life with my notebook with me. It's Christmas again, and it's so overrated. Christmas carols that no longer resound the spirit of Christ..Decorations and lights that steals our focus away from the ultimate reason for Christmas. His sacrifice for us.

Mom-out-law officially asked Adolescence and I to whip up an early Christmas celebration for her family and I gladly announced that mom and dad will be arriving that day. Well, I'm wondering what we should plan. Pot bless? Barbeque? Normal family dinner? What about the Christmas tree? I so miss hanging those shiny balls and pretty ribbons around that tree.

Why? Why are the Christmas carols that sing of Christs' name banned on our country's radio waves? Isn't the reason of Christmas...Christ? I mean, its not like everyone would be a Christian after listening to these carols. Well...again...the law's the law. God in His infinite wisdom...has His reasons.

iBLawg, my 'savior'

2006-12-08T11:27:00.000+08:00

Last night was supposed to be a planned outing with my housemates and coursemates working in town. Unfortunately...due to a series of unfortunate events (so tak original)...the plan had to be cancelled.

After work, I called Rabster who promised for dinner the day before...again, fly aeroplane! -_-"
So I got into my car and drove myself towards One U (opposite direction from home) but when I got to the SS2 turning, I decided to make a U-turn, go home and TIDUR!!

As I was approaching Western Digital, iBlawg called.

iBlawg : BLuE..where are u?

Me : LDP. U?

iBlawg : Same! Which direction? (I could hear his smile already)

Me : (grinning from ear to ear) Towards Cyber...u?

iBlawg : opposite direction. Going to meet CH @ 1 u. Wanna come?

Me : ok ok..u-turn now!!

So we met up at 1 u, had dinner @ Laksa Shack (thx for the meal, dude! =D) Then he had to leave for some personal matters..

Anyway, dude, you made my day!! *grins* Wish CH, LW, KY and the rest could be with us then, though! It's alright..many more days to come!

(got a really pretty dress from Zara at a very very reasonable price...for the festive season!)

Super "suey" day.

2006-12-06T18:01:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face. The time showed that I would be late for work if I didn't hurry, though LATE is a relative term in my case.

Nevertheless, I had this huge headache searching for something "pretty" to wear. Ok, not that I dress really feminine or what, but still..a girl's gotta look pretty every other day. And today, I was not in the mood for strictly office, nor was I in the mood for my typical baby-T and jeans. Wasted more time than I should looking for my outfit, but thought I looked okay in my MNG jeans, seed spaghetti and topshop pull over. Maybe the Kelantan government would fine me RM500 if I were there...seeing that the pull over kinda accentuated my @$$.

That aside, I got into my car, cranked up the engine and put on my shoes while waiting for the engine to heat. Okay, now I'm gonna be late. So I zoomed out of the house, waited for the gate to shut and hit the highway at about 100km/h. TRAFFIC Jam!?!?! WTF?! Up ahead, I could see cars slowing/stopping, but could not make out if it was a road block or an accident. Upon approach, I knew it had to be a road block. Okay. Time to sms my colleague. When I reached the check point, the police stopped me. (Stunned, as I just tinted my car and thought, hey maybe...that's getting me into trouble). But when I wound the window down, the police man asked me to go. Hmm..maybe he wanted a closer look at my road tax, that's all (FYI, instead of sticking my road text on the windscreen like we all should, I plastered it to a food wrap nicely, then used a shell car sticker to hold it in place. That's to avoid myself hell when it's time for a change...and to protect my car's tint ler!!)

Now, at work, everything was fine till lunch. I had this Sup Tulang with Beehoon in it. Delicious I must say...till the very end when the bone slipped out of my chopsticks, crashed down and splattered me with soup. I smelt like my lunch for the next 2 hours!! That's some heavy spice they have in there.

So now I have soup all over me, smell like lunch, have my favourite top stained...at a very strategic spot - my breast. Great...everywhere I went, people would tend to stare at my breasts (of course unintentionally...since I have some food stains there) But hell yeah, who knows that the stain is a passport for all to stare at a normally awkward and forbidden area.

Bad day.

2006-12-05T00:20:00.000+08:00

It's freaky when your mom or dad starts reading your blogs...checking out your friendsters...and any other tool that you use to communicate with people your age...your friends.

It's worse when mom or dad starts telling you "your blog's content is not appropriate" yada yada yada...

Ah, what the hell. Today's a bad day. Maybe, it's a face problem day. Everyone who sees me just wants to yell or lose their temper at me...Not what you think. I didn't say a word...It's like I'm in "someone's" room doing my stuff on my laptop, and it doesn't work. So I try accessing the ftp server from his desktop...then when he comes back, "You use my computer ah?!" in a very stern tone *a bit the tulan already la!!*

Then he says, "I need to do my work. Can you go out?" *super tulan*
So I move my things to the kitchen table...hands full, with laptop, mouse, charger and portable disk...suddenly *BANG* a freaking loud punya louder than thunder punya noise comes behind. Pintu lah tu...apa lagi!? Then he comes out again and slams everything around..*super chiu kap tulan already, but still quiet..make muka selamba*

Banyak lagi I wanna complain...geram giler sial...Fed up la..always like this...knnbccb!!

Practicality vs idealism

2006-11-30T01:00:00.000+08:00

Why is it so hard to choose which road to take, when both destinations of totally different nature appeal to you with the utmost beguile?

How can a girl love a guy, yet denies the fact, backstabbing him behind his back?

Why do we enjoy the now, not think about the future...then put the blame on God when all goes wrong?

How do you differentiate right from wrong, truth from lies, and practicality from idealism when it's divided by only a fine line?

I want to sleep ler..

2006-11-29T11:40:00.000+08:00

I wish I was back in campus. No, not because I like studying but because I can tidur panjang panjang, lebar lebar and lewat lewat. Aiya...of course I have morning classes la...but that doesn't stop me from sleeping in wat!! (Thx y'all for helping me with attendance! muahaha)

Now, I have to wake up early every morning to get to office...waking up at 9 plus 10 kira early already la!! You know what's my time table or not?? sleep at 3-4am, wake up after lunch! That's healthy! Helps me keep fit! Look at me now! Even Adolescence is saying I'm fat (got triple chin. Mana keadilan dunia ni ha?!). Scroll few posts down and you'll see it!

Aduh mengantuknya aku...

My eyes are small.

2006-11-28T17:51:00.000+08:00

This is how I make my eyes larger without plastic surgery...

Another way to say "I get sleepy after lunch!"

Ah, shit!! Boss datang..........*cabut lari*

From Dad, with love

2006-11-27T12:08:00.001+08:00

You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up. Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image. Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being. Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring. Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother's womb. Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me. John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. 1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. 1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father. Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession. Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things. Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. Revelation 21:3-4

And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. 1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. 1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. Luke 15:7

I have always been Father, and will always be Father. Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is…Will you be my child? John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you. Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad.

YOU KICKED ME!!

2006-11-23T16:30:00.000+08:00

Was at some club in KL last night celebrating a friend of Adolecence's birthday. The club was empty except for the group of us. No, it wasn't a small group..say about 50 to 100 persons? Can't really determine, the club was really really really dark...and it had beds too!! The places people make me go to some times (recalls the time I stepped into a gay party..OKAY ENOUGH!)

So there we were, all to chicken to hit the empty dance floor and Adolescence suggests that we hit the dancefloor. I agreed (that's me being the supportive ~~wife~~ girl friend). Two love birds shaking their asses on stage...10 minutes later, the dance floor was packed! Everyone started to dance. Success!! We made it happen.

A group of guys then came up to the podium. No prob, podium's big enough for 10 persons to swing around like monkeys on heat. Then, this guy starts kicking his leg backwards as if he were running a 100 metre dash....KICK!! Right on my left wound. Mind you, his shoe was bloody heavy.

Go let your imagination run wild. The guy freaked and stopped dancing on the podium. (No, Adolescence and I did not even say a word, or do anything unpleasant to him!) Zhou chor si, sam khui la~~ (do wrong thing, feel guilty la abuthen!?)

Web cam day!

2006-11-22T17:45:00.000+08:00

Harini...aku ber-mood untuk bertutur dalam Bahasa Melayu. Entah mengapa, tak terasa nak mem-blog dalam Bahasa Orang Putih. Mungkin sebab aku dah boring dengan 3 post yang aku masukkan ke blog aku yang satu lagi. Aduhai...boringnya aku hari ni.

Pagi tadi, aku masuk kerja...buat eksperimen. Nak check tengok software kitorang boleh cam muka orang sampai ke tahap serong mana dari camera. Mula-mula aku pun tandakan la starting point kitorang...pas tu, tanda la vertical axis rotation kitorang..ataupun azimuth pada degree degree yang berjarakkan 5 degrees. Dah siap eksperimen tu, buat yang satu lagi..horizontal axis rotation...elevation. Pukul 4 dah pun siap kerja aku, tapi duduk dalam office tak berkerja sampai skarang..skejap lagi pukul 6, dah nak balik ini.....sedihnya tak ada kerja...aduhai....

Balik nanti aku nak buat web design aku..tapi yang penting...TIDUR DULU! penat giler hari ni..entah mengapa. Penat giler duduk termenung. Dahlah..satu lagi kerja aku harini...buktikan yang Bahasa Melayu aku ni boleh buang...bagi balik cikgu. Kononnya dapat A2 masa SPM dulu...skarang tengok, eja pun tak tau eja betul betul. Nanti cikgu Rokiah baca, ketuk kepala aku pusing satu hari!

Oh, ada lagi. Pagi tadi buat eksperimen, dah 600 keping gambar diriku sendiri yang siap ditangkap webcam kitorang...Jason panggil aku cam whore. Kerja aku buat face recognition software, takkan la tak tangkap muka aku..habis tangkap apa? punggung ker?! !*(@&!*(@&!

I've proven that girls can't fly!

2006-11-18T00:38:00.000+08:00

I was running, saw a hole about 1 metre in length, long jumped, landed on my toes and was pushed forward my the momentum of my run. Fell forward, scraped my knees and tore my favourite pair of jeans! F*CK!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, and it hurts like F*CK too!! I think I've got the right to curse today. So suey!

So scientifically, I've proven that girls can't fly! Need a guy to carry out the same experiment to see if they can or not...anyways...mama says that girls should not run...

Hope my legs don't F*CK-ing scar..

Photo credits go to my colleague, Mr. Tan Shan Hui.

You think you know me???

2006-11-17T23:58:00.000+08:00

You don't know someone till you've shared the same bathroom with them. It's not easy to live with someone. It's not fun to be taken forgranted. It's not easy....

Why dress smart?

2006-11-17T11:31:00.001+08:00

It's stupid to dress formal to work. It's uncomfortable and makes you walk as if you have a stick up in your ass.

Unfortunately, a little discomfort allows better performance....and makes a better impression in business meetings.

So here I am today, stumbling out of my wardrobe as a blunder. Learn my lesson......Don't be so blur!!

Girl, you da bomb!!

2006-11-16T23:47:00.000+08:00

Had a really really cun conversation with Hooi Ching earlier this evening, of herbs and spice and everything nice. Girl talk!! And what do girls bitch about? We bitch of slugs and snails and puppy dog tails. Guys! haha

Women - the world's deadliest weapon. Look into history and you can see the fall of dynasty after dynasty, always because of a woman. A woman builds, a woman destroys. The ways of a woman are more cunning than that of a man. Duh, why do you think Adam ate the fruit last, not Eve?? Because the serpent knew that it was easier to use a woman to get to the man...rather than getting to the man itself! I bet muh gurls would agree with me on this!

From C# minor to F major, I would like to say that work IS rewarding. There will be a product demo next week and I'm hoping so so so much that boss gives me the green light to go. I want the experience, I want to learn. Anyho, it won't be bad if I don't get to go. Always look on the bright side of things??

-Girls are nice like sugar and spice, guys eat mice with vinegar and ice.-

1,2,3......47,48,49,....fiiiffftyyyy!!!

2006-11-16T17:51:00.000+08:00

Zhr : I was watching this movie, and thought, "why this girl look so much like you wan?"

Blue Apple : Who's that?

Zhr : Jessica Alba.

*can't sleep that night..too happy!!*

This should be a good enough motivation for me.

You are F**!

2006-11-15T10:46:00.000+08:00

Yesterday,

Blue Apple : *tells Adolescence some story..then smiles*

Before Blue Apple finishes,

Adolescence : (looks at Blue Apple) *giggle* *giggle* HAHHAHAHAH (bursts out in laughter)

Blue Apple : What?? (cool look - very serious)

Adolescence : You...hahahah..you...HAHHAHAH!!

Blue Apple : *annoyed* WHAT???

Adolescence : You look different?

Blue Apple : *cold stares adolescence*

Adolescence : Just now when you were smiling....I saw you had not a double...but triple chin! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!! YOU ARE OUT OF SHAPE!! FAT!!!! HAHHAHAHAHHA

Blue Apple : *speechless* (looks in mirror) *sigh*

My baby masuk kilang.

2006-11-14T13:57:00.000+08:00

My 3G, 2.0 Mega pixel Motorola V3x mobile has returned to its maker - just for a minor check up and some corrections. This only means one thing : no camera, no pictures. I'm still too poor to buy myself a camera. Any sponsors out there?

The adventures of Blue Apple (part 1)

2006-11-14T13:42:00.000+08:00

Jason mumbles : If Blue Apple can blog about her daily chores like eating, sleeping and shitting, why can't I.

If I once inspired someone to blog about everything, why can't I inspire myself to push on?

I kinda regret the day I pushed the "delete blog" button. My whole life, my thoughts, some very good articles were just deleted, wiped out of cyber space. Then again, maybe it was a good move. Now, I get to start new on a fresh slate.

What shall I blog about today? On how much I love work, programming, and responsibilities? Or on how much I wish I could sleep till 3pm like I used to? Anyhow, this is a kick-ass job! I come to work at 10am ++ and leave at about 7pm. My dream job - the perfect working hours for me (although it would be definitely ideal if I could work from 10pm to 7am). Lolx.

About 2 days ago, I got an sms from my ex-housemate, a good friend at about midnight. It went something like this "You have appeared in my thoughts, therefore I'd just like to wish you goodnight!" That's what I call a pleasant surprise!

"If you have to say something, be nice. Otherwise, just shut up!"

-Blue Apple-

Truly Malaysian

2006-11-08T01:03:00.000+08:00

No where in the world can you find oranges labeled "Super sweet".

Okay, maybe Singapore.

Anyways,Malaysia Boleh!!

Keshia, this is for you!!

2006-11-08T00:41:00.000+08:00

Mexican food is yummy, but also very pricey! (Chillis!! Chillis!! Chillis!!) Perhaps you should check out the outlet I'm about to reveal to you in a few blinks of the eye that serves super yummy food de la Mexicana.

Of course you shouldn't expect quality and portions the size of Chillis. Duh~ You're paying like what? One fifth of the price? One tenth?

I paid RM5 for Pasillo (Beef or chicken sauce a la bolognaise served with Mexican fried rice, plain rice or tortillas). Too bad I can't get my hands on Paella....but that's Spanish.

Now the moment of truth. The moment that you're waiting for. The moment where I spill the exact location of the stall. Jeng jeng jeng.....It's the right hand corner stall right at the end of the part that sells loads and loads of food, right beside some Japanese food stall, when you're walking in, with INTI college faced to your back. Can think of the place I'm talking bout? Yeah la!! Asia Cafe! Where else?

Blue apple votes Asia Cafe to be the best food court in town. Reasons to support :

Good variety of food.
Good variety of people.
Reasonably priced western food.
Very very good and tasty food.

And I heard the crabs there are cheap and nice. RM 18 for 2-3 persons? Yet to try, yet to try.

Poor Adolescence, always has to tag along my food rummages. What to do? I love to eat, he loves dieting. Dunia terbalik!

Ding Dong Bell

2006-11-07T10:58:00.000+08:00

Courier man arrives with cheques!! Yay!! Payday!! But it'll still take another few days for the cheques to clear. Meanwhile, no more pizza hut (had so much last night I almost puked in bed *yucks*) and other "Yummy" delights that cost more than a plate of 'chap fan' (mixed rice) from that really old shack in SS15. Sounds alright by me....NOT? I can't live a day without good quality, RICH food! Oh I pine, I yearn, I hunger for Chillis......*sobs*

Talk about food, you should definitely try the vanilla cream puff from Papa Beard, available at RM3.50 per piece in Jusco One Utama and Midvalley LG (opposite KFC). Adolescence made up for the time he couldn't spend with me by buying me 2 of those, Sunday night. I was so happy that I forgot that I was angry. Now you know how to bribe me! haha.

Cream puffs aside, I've got a really awesome task at hand! Today's job is to look into the numerous ways of drawing a horizontal and vertical line across a face by using MFC, of course with a certain set of calculations. Oh gosh, I really really want a bite of that cream puff!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tempestuous

2006-10-30T10:42:00.000+08:00

I can't understand how some women (or men) bluntly get close to someone who's already in a relationship. Like duh, do you like seeing a girl get real close with your boyfriend especially when she's vulnerable? i.e : after a fight, crying, after a breakup, yada yada yada.

It irks me to have to brand someone a bitch...but it irks me even more when that someone is THAT blunt.

Malaysian Drivers..

2006-10-20T12:01:00.000+08:00

It's a miracle that road accidents in Malaysia are significantly low compared to the wrecklessness of 90% of the drivers on the road. (The data displayed here are not statistically true, but a rough estimation based on my own discretion).

You can find it all in Malaysia :

Turning out of a junction without stopping, looking and signalling.
Overtaking spontaneously without signalling.
Driving on emergency lanes.
Speeding when the traffic light turns yellow.
Red lights means GO.
Tail gating.
Driving in the opposite direction in a one way street/road/highway. (It's reported in a local newspaper that an old man drove on the North South highway for 20 minutes in the opposite direction and came out alive!)
Driving too slow on the fast lane.
Any other thing you can think of? You name it, we've got it.

Ah well, I'm guilty of at least 6 of the offences mentioned above. But hey, that makes me Malaysian!!

I'm finally an "ADULT"

2006-10-19T10:37:00.000+08:00

By Adult, I mean Absolutely Delinquent and Ultimately Lazy Teenager.

Nah, I'm just shitting. My age will never pass me off as a teenager...ever again! Gone are the days of wrecklessness and partying...NOT!!!!

I just feel more adult because I report to work and not class. And you're wrong if you think work sux, coz it won't if you're in the job of your choice!!

Someone said

2006-10-07T15:17:00.000+08:00

Someone once told me...
...that all men are dumb. They just don't understand women.

Someone once told me...
...that men are all egoistic, that's why they don't admit it.

Someone once told me...
...that men are stubborn, selfish, jerks. Some women are too.

Someone once said...
...that men can be the sweetest angels. They can be the devil too.

Someone once said...
...that men mainly think about sex. I hope they're wrong (Yeah, right!)

Someone once said...
...that life is not fair. Who ever said life was fair?

I could not ask for more

2006-10-06T03:00:00.000+08:00

My life has never been the same since I found Him. Yeah, our relationship has been broken more than once, and it's always because of me. Today's the 5th day I started mending this relationship, and for once I can truly understand when He said, "I love you."

Faith is when you completely trust someone. Believe is knowing that He's there. Love is when He found me.

God is faithful

2006-10-05T13:16:00.000+08:00

Thank you for your prayers, thank you for your support.

My ordeal has finally ended. I'm joining the company of my choice.

This is........the hand of God.

Quebrada

2006-10-05T05:51:00.000+08:00

Yo no se que hacerme.

What do I want?

2006-10-05T02:21:00.000+08:00

Today feels like the 4th of February 2001. Today feels like the clouds are here and the sky is grey. Today feels like forever.

Torn, broken, afraid.

What should I do?

Cha Cha

2006-10-04T15:17:00.000+08:00

He's the sweetest thing ever. Yes, I'm biased. Bubu nips when he's afaird, Cha Cha doesn't.

If you're wondering why the names :

I love Bubur Chacha - a Malaysian delicacy of yam, sweet potatoes and sago boiled in coconut milk.
Bubu = Abu, Cha Cha = Ah Cha. Typical Malaysian names. I encourage racial integration (Abu = Malay, Ah Cha = Chinese)

My hamster ball

He got tired running in circles

Errghhh...FURBALL!!

Close to You.

2006-10-04T01:58:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry for the things I've done,
You and I, we should be one.

I'm sorry that I've hurt You so,
I thought that You should know.

I want to honor You,
I will always trust in You.

I know that You love me,
In Your arms I want to be.

You guard me, You guide me,
You watch me, You protect me.

Dear Jesus I really love You,
And I just want to be close to You.

Lamb Vindaloo

2006-10-04T00:06:00.000+08:00

Lamb Vindaloo...I want!! I want!!

Click here for recipe

Roborovski babies

2006-10-03T22:14:00.000+08:00

Hygiene

Always give them a dust bath!! Keeps them clean and matt.
Always use deodorizers!! Wipe them with cotton balls soaked in biodegradable deodorizers. Spray bedding everday, especially the toilet corners. Use a deodorizer that is friendly to your pet!
Never forget disinfectants. Keeps you and your pet healthy!!

Food

Always give them a good mixture of food : nuts, grains, sunflower seeds, oats, etc.
Never feed them cabbage! Gives them the wet backside disease (dihorrea??)
Feed fresh fruits in moderation. It's always best to keep your pet dry!
Give them treats : corn nuggets, yogurt dipped grains, etc. They love it!!
Don't forget the mineral stones or corn starch cones. Keeps their teeth trimmed and healthy.
Mix food or water with vitamins. If you're using liquid vitamins, change water or food daily.

Toys

Always have a hamster wheel that doesn't make your pet trip.
Clean the wheel when dirty, even if you're not cleaning the cage. Hamsters spend more time in their wheels than anywhere else.
Get a hamster ball. Let your pet explore! They're curious creatures.
Hamsters love tubes and mazes! Like I said, they're curious creatures!

My babies

He's so tiny!!!!!

Curious little monsters.

Nama tikus tapi macam babi.

Control

2006-10-02T19:17:00.000+08:00

There are some circumstances in life that cannot be changed. That's not true.

These circumstances can be overcome by divine intervention. Pray!

I expect to see a miracle. I have faith that the course taken is the best option.

I will see His work in my life. AMEN.

Happiness

2006-10-01T20:56:00.000+08:00

Trust Him more, worry less.

Obey Him - it is said, "Honor Him and He will honor you."

Forgiveness - "Forgive us as we forgive those who sin against us" - He can't forgive us if we don't forgive others.

Do not rob Him - tithe.

Humility is the way to go - KILL PRIDE!!

Dear God

2006-09-30T10:09:00.000+08:00

I do not want to go. I've sent in my appeal, please let it be approved. I'm saying my prayers, and seriously if I go, I'll have a mental and emotional breakdown. I know I'm just going to lose 1 precious person in my life if I go....

Dear God,

I don't want all of these to happen......I know you can see what's in my heart. Please work a miracle, please please please...for nothing is impossible for You. I just know it........

Amen

It sucks when you have to grow up

2006-09-30T08:13:00.000+08:00

Sometimes in life, we give up things dear to us...

...they happen more frequently as the years pile on

Sometimes in life, the people closest to you don't understand you...

...you don't understand them either

Sometimes in life, you wish you were free...

...but in reality strings are always attached

Sometimes in life, you wish to give up...

...and sometimes you just really do!

Intellectual property and copyright of Alicia Hue.

Cravings

2006-09-27T19:54:00.000+08:00

It sucks being a student when you crave for food that you can't purchase outside....

....like your mom's (or your own) good cooking!!

I want to drink my home made white radish soup....

Fervor addict

2006-09-27T14:38:00.000+08:00

Never knew what it's like till my life started slowing down and became very close to steady.

I'm always in search of new things, new plans, new games. Never knew that it's just the excitement I'm after. I've got very bad follow through skills.

When I see my life turning the way I planned it to be, I tend to freak...and change my course. "Rolling stones gather no moss!" Yes, mom. Get out of my head!! I'm addicted to change.

I very well know that my achievements will be sparse with so much change - always starting, barely ending. I want a normal life - a life that has been accredited by decades of civilization, yet I want to be free - dictated by me and me alone.

The grass is always greener on the other side.

No strings attached

2006-09-26T16:05:00.000+08:00

You know when you're with someone, you joke about not coming back...till you laugh.

But when you're alone, the world is full of possibilities...

Soy estudiante no muy bien

2006-09-26T03:20:00.000+08:00

1 whole semester of Spanish lessons and it's all down the drain! Makes me wonder what I've been studying for the past 3 months. Should my one-month-disappearing-act lecturer be put to blame?? Losers blame others. I didn't need a lecturer to sit beside me to study. I could have done it on my own...yet i flamboyantly wasted my time away~ Murni's, Roti and Rice, Zouk, Souled Out, plus plus plus so many other lepak joints I cant even recall...yeah! It's my fault!

Well, tomorrow's the oral test. I know what you're thinking.....Don't even!!!!!!

Mi espanol no muy bien, pero lo voy intento hablar!!
*wonders if that's grammatically correct~~*

FYP presentation

2006-09-21T04:36:00.000+08:00

"And now, the time has come for me to blabla...." Fuck you Frank Sinatra. Get outta my head!!

What will my lecturers ask me? What will I say? Am I good enough? What will my grades be? Que sera sera...Yo no muy bien, yo se. *sigh*

This worry is stupid, baseless, self inflicted and torturous! No se. Hitting the sacks! Buenas noches!

Roborovski Hamsters

2006-09-20T14:04:00.000+08:00

1. They're hyper active.

2. They move extremely fast - makes them super hard to catch.

3. They barely bite. They nip, but it doesn't hurt at all.

4. They love corn flavoured things : cornstarch cones, corn nuggets, dried corn...

5. They climb and swing around like monkeys on a tree.

6. They love biting things, keeps their teeth in shape. Cornstarch cones are favoured above mineral stone.

7. They are very playful.

8. They are extremely shy and timid. Not a good option if you're looking for one to pet and hold.

9. They love bathing in dust baths - they're clean!

10. They are very very very cute!!!!!!!!

It's all about creation

2006-09-20T01:57:00.000+08:00

The creation of a website is like the birth of a baby. First comes the layout - the formation of a fetus. Then the links - the limbs. Next, the database - the brain and finally a fully functional site - the baby is born.

I just discovered the wonders of MySQL and PHP. MySQL creates the database used to information like username and passwords while PHP links the webpage to the database. I'm on the road to creating my very 1st user authentication page...

Bubu and Chacha

2006-09-19T05:41:00.000+08:00

Say no more.

2006-09-18T23:31:00.000+08:00

Parting is such sweet sorrow - a phrase so overused that it makes me sick. The brilliance of this man who put a million emotions into one single phrase is yet to be superseded.

I 'shoo-ed' the brother I never had to UK today. It's overwhelming to see the boy I knew ever since I was a child grow up and leave home. I really cannot describe how I feel...but that I miss him oh so much.

July 2007.....it's not too far away.

Don't read me, know me.

2006-09-14T07:31:00.000+08:00

Getting to know someone via his or her blog is stupid. You don't really know someone until you hang out with the person......A LOT. Okay, okay. Chatting A LOT does help, but you still don't know a person till you hang out at some joint, have a few beers and do something stupid together.

Blogging can be a real bitch sometimes. It's funny that I do miss my old blog a lot (yeah, for those of you who don't know..acquiescence has been dead for a month now). Guess old habits die hard.

So, what's up with me? I found some friends who love hanging out at clubs as much as I do, I waste my Friday nights at my favourite mamaks and I pamper my hamsters like crazy. Other than that it's the boring ol' assignments and my Final Year Project. I can't wait to graduate! Only 8 more months to go..and counting.